Archive for February 24, 2012

The colour of relationships

00422685I’ve been astounded this week by how many stages of relationships my clients are in. One, who has had a partner for 18 years, finally broke it of because they discovered their partner is a classic narcissist who falls into a rage if they are not adored all the time. This man is hurt and broken yet strong enough to realise the only way forward is to forgive.

Another is about to get married and yet finds their partner ‘a little sensitive’ if confronted. My answer, is ‘communicate, communicate.’ I say this in hindsight after a failed marriage of 19 years. Whenever my ex and I fought we would invariably ‘sweep it under the carpet’ until the next argument and guess what the same tired issue would emerge worse than ever. It was never dealt with because we never had the courage to talk about it, resolve the issue and move on.

Yet someone else I spoke to this week is getting the ‘cold shoulder’ from their boyfriend because one wants to walk on the beach at 11am on Sunday and the lady hates the midday sun. Both are sulking. Count your lucky stars you have a partner who has some ambition and willingness to get out there and explore the world.

I am reminded yet again by my wise therapist that few relationships are made in heaven and mostly it’s the medias fault that we are taught there is a perfect relationship. I can’t think of one perfect couple who lives in relationship nirvanna. If you know of one please let me know how it’s perfect.

Just remember to cherish the man or woman in your life, warts and all. Nobody’s perfect….

Massage Saves Your Posture

So many of my clients tell me how massage is such a ‘treat’ and how rarely they take the time to get a decent, professional massage. I want to clear this up. If you choose to, massage can form part of a healthy lifestyle and can prevent a host of injuries, specifically if you are active.

With ongoing massage chronic patterns of poor posture that cause unnecessary discomfort can be addressed. A great deal of stored emotional memories can be released with a deep tissue massage.

In his book, “BodyMind,” Ken Dychtwald addresses how different parts of the┬ábody store emotion. An instance of this is the lower back. “Most people with lower back trouble report they first experienced difficulty with their backs as a resulf of some injury or back-straining activity… Yet it seems to me that the back disturbance does not begin at the time of the acute injury, but rather that the injury occurred because the muscles and emotions of the back had been chronically held and contracted for some time, thereby predisposing the area to injury.” He goes on to point out that the degree to which a person holds tension in the loewr back is often an indicator of how compulsive or impulsive the preson is in day-to-day activities.

This is all good and well, but how can you solve the problem. Ongoing massage (usually twice a month) can gently and persistantly begin to resolve lower back issues. With your willingness to be aware of where you hold tension and combined with a good exercise programme, lower back pain should become more manageable.

Just remember, massage is not just a ‘feel good’ treat – it can become part of how you take care of your body.