The Inner Edge

With the start of the 8-week MBSR programme in Somerset West, I am reminded of the 7 attitudes that form the major pillars of mindfulness practise.

1. Non-judgement:   Become aware of and stand back from the constant stream of judging and reacting to inner and outer experiences which trap us.

2. Patience: Patience is a form of wisdom that shows us to accept how events unfold in their own time. Why rush through this moment in order to get to ‘better ones?’ Being patient means being open to each moment, accepting its fullness, knowing that, like the butterfly, things can only unfold in their own time.

3. Beginner’s Mind: This is a willingness to see everything as if for the first time. It allows us to be receptive to new possibilities and stops us from getting stuck in the rut of our own experience.

4. Trust: Develop a basic trust in yourself and your feelings. In practicing mindfulness, you are learning to take responsibility for being yourself and trusting your own being. The more you cultivate trust, the more other people will trust you.

5. Acceptance: This means seeing things exactly as they are in this moment. You need to accept yourself as you really are before you can change.

6. Letting Go: In India they have a clever way of catching monkeys. If the monkey could unclasp its hand from the nuts laid for it in a trap, then it would be free. Letting go is non-attachment.

7. Commitment: A strong commitment to working on yourself and having the self-discipline to persevere in the process are essential to developing a strong meditation practise and a high degree of mindfulness. Like an athlete you can train your mind with discipline and determination.

There you have it. It’s bums on seats each day if you want to grow in mindfulness practise.

I’ve been astounded this week by how many stages of relationships my clients are in. One, who has had a partner for 18 years, finally broke it of because they discovered their partner is a classic narcissist who falls into a rage if they are not adored all the time. This man is hurt and broken yet strong enough to realise the only way forward is to forgive.

Another is about to get married and yet finds their partner ‘a little sensitive’ if confronted. My answer, is ‘communicate, communicate.’ I say this in hindsight after a failed marriage of 19 years. Whenever my ex and I fought we would invariably ‘sweep it under the carpet’ until the next argument and guess what the same tired issue would emerge worse than ever. It was never dealt with because we never had the courage to talk about it, resolve the issue and move on.

Yet someone else I spoke to this week is getting the ‘cold shoulder’ from their boyfriend because one wants to walk on the beach at 11am on Sunday and the lady hates the midday sun. Both are sulking. Count your lucky stars you have a partner who has some ambition and willingness to get out there and explore the world.

I am reminded yet again by my wise therapist that few relationships are made in heaven and mostly it’s the medias fault that we are taught there is a perfect relationship. I can’t think of one perfect couple who lives in relationship nirvanna. If you know of one please let me know how it’s perfect.

Just remember to cherish the man or woman in your life, warts and all. Nobody’s perfect….

So many of my clients tell me how massage is such a ‘treat’ and how rarely they take the time to get a decent, professional massage. I want to clear this up. If you choose to, massage can form part of a healthy lifestyle and can prevent a host of injuries, specifically if you are active.

With ongoing massage chronic patterns of poor posture that cause unnecessary discomfort can be addressed. A great deal of stored emotional memories can be released with a deep tissue massage.

In his book, “BodyMind,” Ken Dychtwald addresses how different parts of the body store emotion. An instance of this is the lower back. “Most people with lower back trouble report they first experienced difficulty with their backs as a resulf of some injury or back-straining activity… Yet it seems to me that the back disturbance does not begin at the time of the acute injury, but rather that the injury occurred because the muscles and emotions of the back had been chronically held and contracted for some time, thereby predisposing the area to injury.” He goes on to point out that the degree to which a person holds tension in the loewr back is often an indicator of how compulsive or impulsive the preson is in day-to-day activities.

This is all good and well, but how can you solve the problem. Ongoing massage (usually twice a month) can gently and persistantly begin to resolve lower back issues. With your willingness to be aware of where you hold tension and combined with a good exercise programme, lower back pain should become more manageable.

Just remember, massage is not just a ‘feel good’ treat – it can become part of how you take care of your body.

…mmm. It was about 11:30am on a Wednesday morning when a journalist phoned and asked me some questions about an article she was writing. The subject was, “should I go back to my old marriag/relationship?” Such a pertinent question and an issue that recently left me with sleepless nights. Here are the facts. We were married for 18 years and met when I was in Grade 11. We had two children, one of whom is dead and the other married. We divorced over 10 years ago – I initiated the split.

Recently the ex and I were thrown together for our daughter’s wedding and all their friends wondered if we were still married. The thing is I live outside of the city, have a partner and do work I love. The ex on the other hand, is still dogmatic, opinionated and judgmental all be it he has now learned to cook, shop and care for the house – something he hated while we were married. Don’t get me wrong he’s a really good man – generous, intelligent, loyal, supportive and loving.

Then he met someone and I realised just how much I still loved him. He dumped me on the spot and I am still stinging from the loss. Should I have gone back while I still had the chance? Thing is I have dealt with my ‘issues’ and have been in therapy for a long time. I have gone through coaching and engaged in numerous self development courses. My ex, on the other hand, hates therapists and refuses to take respoinsibility for some of his destructive patterns. If I had gone back, that is exactly where I would have gone back to – an untenable situation that would probably have brought back all the old patterns that caused us such pain.

There is no solution to this other than if you are thinking about going back look at how far you have grown since the separation and how much personal power you have achieved? Has your partner truly changed and all those things that bugged you - are they now in the past? If he’s not willing to really LOOK at the relationship and engage with you on a deep caring level, my advice is DON’T GO BACK until he does.

REBALANCING massage has its roots in Rolfing postural integration, liquid bodywork and is a fascinating body/ mind treatment system, incorporating technical precision with an artistic meditative approach.

Rebalancing was developed in the 1980′s by a group of health practitioners of different disciplines, such as Rolfing postural integration, Heller Work, cranio sacral balancing,  tragering, physiotherapy and massage. They were working together at the multiversity in Pune India and USA under the guidance of Osho to develop Rebalancing Deep tissue massage therapy.

Essentially the idea was to create a new form of bodywork that would take the best of the presently existing modalities and imbue them with a deeper perspective than was currently available. The main component of this new approach was to make awareness compassion and meditative breathwork a central feature of the work.

Rebalancing utilizes a combination of deep tissue massage, joint release and energy balancing, to counteract chronic holding patterns that contribute to pain and illness. Rebalancing views the human body as much more than its physical components . It recognises the emotional, energetic and spiritual aspects are of as much importance to our totality.

This highly restorative form of massage brings people back into harmony with themselves, so they can live their essential unity of body, mind and heart. It works with a unique synthesis of body reading, connective tissue manipulation, joint release, energy and breath work, body awareness training as well as emotions and their expression.

As the body releases muscular tension and relaxes, energy is set free. At the same time old and unconscious emotional and mental attitudes and patterns, which imprison us, come into awareness.
This helps us to a better understanding of ourselves and of our hidden potentials. We come closer to our innermost core, which enables us to live life more spontaneously and gracefully.
The essence of Rebalancing is a loving, sensitive touch. I combine 10 years of deep tissue massage work to deliver a truly transformative form of massage designed to meet your lifestyle needs.

Bodywork is one of the finest arts and therefore not only a question of technique but at first an expression of love. Rebalancing sees the body as a priceless gift and not as a mechanism that needs to be” repaired”. In this sense Rebalancing meets the uniqueness of each human being.

The treatment usually includes a series of 10 sessions. Though each session is complete in itself and one session is perfectly ok. A series of sessions has a powerful synergetic effect and allows the whole body to be systematically included. In this way it is suited to the individual history of the person, to their needs and to the challenges of their actual life situation.

THE BENEFITS OF REBALANCING

• It recognises the body and mind as an integrated unit.Through work on the physical we can influence and regulate the balance of the whole person.
• It is a powerful method to release deep-seated tensions in the body, mind and feelings.
• It releases tensions through deep slow and skilful strokes, carried out with great ease.
• It encourages deep breathing, to connect to whatever he is exploring at that moment, in an invitingly gentle way.
• It educates us  to become more free and upright. Living in the body becomes a pleasurable stress less experience.
• It is a process of transformation that allows freer energy flow and movement.

REBALANCING is traditionally done in a sequence of 10 treatments lasting approximately an hour. In each treatment the focus is on one body segment, bringing life and awareness to the areas we never notice.

The effects of REBALANCING are long lasting and a complete series of sessions will alter the way you feel and relates to your mind and body.

A life lived well and counsciously, is taking yourself to the next level of your incredible potential. As your consciousness coach, I can support you with your relationships, career, financial stability, health and creativity. I can see how great you are, and using powerful questions I ignite you into a new way of thinking and being in your life. What you thought impossible, becomes possible and doable.

It can lead you to achieve great results in a shorter period of time. Each session builds on from the next, and together we explore new possibilities and a greater vision for your life.

GREAT BENEFITS

Create new possibilities and live into them

• Be inspired in every moment
• Improve communication with self and others
• Achieve goals that inspire and motivate you
• Live into your vision
• Leave a legacy  of greatness
• Create clear intentions
• Access personal power
• Make major breatkthroughs
• Align your highest self with your goals
• Tap into joy, prosperity and abundance

VISION

To support others in realisiing their full potential and to be the cause and effect of transformation.